Alexandra Molloy's Blog Posts

Date Written: 2015

Blocked is my pumping heart
Bleeding is my uncut veins
Bawling my eyes out is when I feel insane
If ashes were the rain
If needles pierced the wind
Would I survive?
Would I make it?
What if, what if I made no mistakes?
What if, what if no one died today?
It’s only a question
It’s only a mere fleeting thought
What if
What if
What if not?
Not blocked is my pumping heart
Not bleeding is my uncut veins
Not bawling my eyes out is when I feel insane
Not if ashes were the rain
Not if needles pierced the wind
Not would I survive?
Not would I make it?
Not what if, what if I made no mistakes?
Not what if, what if no one died today?
Not it’s only a question
Not it’s only a fleeting thought
Not if
Not if
Not if not

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Date Written: 23 April 2024

Whether a desperation or a plea to escape one’s circumstances
Nothing can be achieved without a will of determination and a handful of helping hands
No matter the grievances, the guilt, and the shame
We must never settle for less but never amount to more beyond our means
As when limits start to break, so does our will to live the same as we did before the limits’ break
We start to crave more than we bargained for
We become accustom to the rewards of surpassing one’s limits
And fear less the risks that may sometimes out-weigh the rewards
We begin to lose sight of the privilege our limits once gave us
And reach for the stars or the fruit on the tree, forever just out of reach
But we will still always somehow find a way
To breach and break our limits once again
So that we may feel the heat of the stars burning hugging our hands
And the fruit once with vigor is now just wasted and rotted, just like our once aspiring plans
Sometimes wanting more makes less of what you already have
We all have something
We all have vigor and resolve
But once those limits break,
What used to set us apart becomes a blurred line of what used to hold us together
And now we can no longer tell the difference between a risk and a reward

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Date Written: 06 May 2024

Have you ever heard of a mil?
A mill?
No a mil.

I don’t understand.
What don’t you understand? I am talking about mils.

Yes, mills I understand.
No, mils you don’t understand.

Yes I do.
No you don’t.

Ask me what a mill is then!
HAH, o k – What is a mil?

It’s a place that grinds grain.
That’s a mill not a mil.

I don’t understand how that is not a mill.
HAH – I am talking mils, thousands of an inch.

What.
Mils. A mil is a thousand of an inch.

That is not what a mill is.
Correct. But it is what a M-I-L is.

You forgot an L there.
……
Why are you staring at me like that?
You know why.

No, I don’t know why. You spelt mill wrong.
No I – ….hahhh….are you aware there are two kinds of “mills”?

There are?
……Yes there are. There’s the “mill” you know and the “mil” I am telling you about.

Oh. So there’s a M-I-L-L and a M-I-L?
YES.

…..
…..?
What’s the difference?
…..

You’re staring at me again.
….Hahhh – Repeat after me.
Okay?
A M-I-L…
A M-I-L…..L?
No, a M-I-L…
A M-I-L…
Is a thousand of an inch.
Is a thousand of an inch.

A mil is a thousand of an inch.
A mil is a thousand of an inch.

Yes! Now what is a mil?
A thousand of an inch of a place that grinds grain!

….You’re impossible.
And you’re possible.

…..Good night.
But it’s only lunch tim-oh bye!

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Date Written: 28 May 2011

Love
Is pure
Within your heart
When you meet someone
Who feels the same way.
The person you love
Is always there
Smiling happily
Forever

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Date Written: April 2015

Wilting me
Wilting me
Have you seen within me?

Wilting me
Wilting me
What makes you hate me?

Wilting me
Wilting Flower
You’re turning grey on me

Wilting Flower
Wilting Flower
Mother came to me

You’re hurt. You’re broken. I’m torn. I’m unspoken.

Wilting Flower
Wilting Flower
Mummy left me too

Wilting Flower
Beautiful Creation
Why do you always want to heal me?

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Date Written: April 2015

Little Flower
Little Flower
Watch me bloom

Little Flower
Little Flower
Watch me blossom

Little Flower
Little Flower
Watch me color

Little Flower
Little Flower
Have you seen mother?

Mom, I miss you. Mom, I need you. You would nurture me with lies and have me hold my tears on the inside. Mom, Mommy, why did you have to die?

Little Flower
Little Flower
Mommy had to leave

Little Flower
Stupid Plant
Why did you have to hurt me?

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Date Written: 22 April 2024

With every thought there comes a ring
Disrupting what was forming into being

For if creation was as flawless as it is perceived
Then life would have no need for mercy

But alas, mercy is needed
and alas, there lies flaws with creation
The unexpected result of a thought disrupted
Leaves much room for life’s adjustment

Change is inevitable
Radical acceptance is required yet denied
by the resistance of familiarity and
the fear of losing what one already knows
to be certain in this dream

With every thought there comes a ring
Adding pause to what could have formed into being

For pregnant silences may not always be a bad thing
As it leaves more room for thought as a result of that ring

With every thought there comes a ring
and wonder mixed with anxieties has to bring
about the uncertainty of life known as creation

But is life as one knows it truly creation?
Or is life just a result of the disruption of that ring?

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Date Written: September 2015

The world is trapped in your perception of reality
Manifesting as the colors that identify in actuality
Actuality that you are in trapped in the matter that surrounds you
Imprisoned
Confined to the space provided around you
Being encased by how your thoughts are expressed in your mind
Given time, your perception is trapped in the matter
And the matter is entrapped in your mind

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Date Written: October 2014
Note: Poem is a Palindrome Poem, meaning it can be read from top to bottom or bottom to top.

Blood curdles
The night screams
People are crying
Friends are dying
The devil seeps into my veins
Eyeing me with the fiery depths of Hell
His cure intoxicates me
Life breathes into me
The Earth is spinning
Friends are living
People are laughing
The day sings
Water boils

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