Alexandra Molloy's Blog Posts

Date Written: 30 May 2026

A year can go by
like the push and pull
of an ocean’s wave

And while that
repetitive motion
remains the same

The sand, the salt,
the microbes, and
all the life that the ocean sustains
has shifted and changed
since that last “first”
new year’s wave

A year can go by
and one may never
know how much
time can fly

A year ago,
Desperation pulsated
throughout my bones

And now that’s it’s been
a year from last,
I finally find myself
recovering from the past

A lot can change
in a year from now
But, despite the
ever changing future,
my inner flame that
many call sheer will,
will continue to
push and pull
like an ocean’s wave
one year from now

and then I will say
again how
a year can go by
like the push and pull
of an ocean’s wave…

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Date Written: 23 May 2026

I cup my hands together and extend them out to you
My head bowed forward as I raise my hands higher and closer to you
Awaiting for you to spare a glance and place a gold coin in the palms of my hands

Instead of feeling the cool touch of metal,
my skin embraces the breath of air
that caresses my palms and strokes my fingers,
before leaving me without any change to spare

My hands remain cupped and my head bowed
As you continue to walk past all those who
extend their palms out toward you
You spare not one a glance or gold coin
You only march forward towards the throne
a fortnight ahead of you

You march and march, unaware of
all the palms lowering and bowed heads rising
with stares that follow you as the throne
in front of you gets closer and closer
until you find yourself knelt before the throne,
extending your palms clasping your pouch
of gold to the man dozing off in this seat before you

The man yawns, plucking your pouch
out from your extended palms
and with a flick of his wrist, he ushers you away,
awaiting for the next person who was trailing behind you

You stare at the man in disbelief–
How dare he only take but not give to you?!
You fume and fume, marching yourself right back
in the direction you just came from
Only to see how many hands that
once requested your help are no longer to be found

With nowhere to go and no one to turn to
You find your way back to me, who is still
with raised palms and a bowed head before you
You find yourself kneeling next to me
as you see someone in the distance approaching
in the same manner as you, before
all you offered was taken from you
You cup your hands and raise them
towards the approaching person
who was once like you
But you do not bow your head
You only stare with extended palms
Hoping you’ll catch the attention
of who came after you

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Date Written: 16 May 2026

Content Warning: This poem contains topics that may be sensitive to readers. Reader discretion is advised.

Fatigue in my bones
acts like hydrofluoric acid
with the difference being
the fatigue leeches the energy out
of my bones and entire body, whereas HF,
the calcium leech of chemistry,
would leech out the calcium
in my bones and entire body instead

Exhaustion in my heart—
I am not sure how much longer
I can hold onto all of this grief and pain

The weight of the world
no longer holds me down
Instead it’s the weight of
this physical and emotional
fatigue that sucks everything
out of me, leaving me with nothing
but the ground to lay on

Fatigue in my bones
Exhaustion in my heart
I’m not sure I have enough
neoprene gloves or PPE protection
to come out completely unscathed

Fatigue in my bones
weighs heavier than any
heartbreak I have ever known

Fatigue in bones
only the gods would know
when I will get to drink
from the spring of eternal youth
and once again feel rejuvenated
before the fatigue leeches
the energy out of my bones
and entire body again

Fatigue in my bones
I hope to never ever experience you again

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Date Written: 02 May 2025

When life became a new
It all started with you

The one who sacrifices nights of sleep
day after day as the small one cries
or keeps getting out of bed
to just be put back to bed
to just get out of bed
repeating the cycle again
and again

It all started with you
When you decided to do a career change
from teaching to raising kids

It all started with you
Always trying your best
Despite the hurtful words said
during times of the small ones
becoming young teenagers
only then to change into young adolescents

It all started with you
And I am forever grateful to have a mother
That is as self-sacrificing, loving, and kind as you

Thank you Mom for supporting us
Your stubborn, headstrong children
And Happy Mother’s Day
From this small one who
spent more time trying
to get out bed than sleep in it
Back when the world, in my eyes, was all still new

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Date Written: 02 May 2026

Sometimes being the youngest in a household sucks when you are always the quiet sponge
always absorbing the pain of your parents and older sibling(s) too
Sometimes being so emotionally aware of the hurt your loved ones are going through
is a burden that was never meant for you

Whether it’s watching your older sibling(s) wall themselves so much
That when your parents poke at that wall
They lash out and blame them for all the failed promises and hurt they went through
Or watching your parents tear themselves down after hearing all the sacrifices they did for all of you
It won’t matter in the end, that much needed heart to heart with your older sibling(s) and parents will just not go through
It will fall into the cracks in the kitchen sink
Leaking, as your family addresses everything in that kitchen sink but the cracks
that the sink has gotten supporting all the heartbreak, grief, generational trauma, and sorrow your family has and continues to go through

Sometimes being the youngest in a household sucks when you are always the quiet sponge
always absorbing the pain of your parents and older sibling(s) too
Sometimes being so emotionally aware of the hurt your loved ones are going through
is a burden that was never meant for you

As the youngest,  it’s not your job to play therapist for those 5, 10, 30+ years older than you
As the youngest, it’s not your job to look for ways to mend a cracked kitchen sink
Sometimes its best to let the kitchen sink crack and break, letting all it holds fall through
And just hope that when it all comes crashing down, you will still have a loving and supportive family to lean back into

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Date Written: 25 April 2026

The desire to succeed
can push one past their limits
leading them to achieve what
they never thought to before

But this desire of success
can also push one to
burn themselves out
leaving themselves completely drained
and in need of recovery

We all may want success
We all may want to be successful
But is all this success,
all this achievement
really worth the self sacrifice
and unnecessary pain?

We may all desire success
But success is only
one part of our fleeting,
immemorable lives

Our success can mean nothing
to the those of us in the future
using our achievements as the
base building blocks for
their own success

The desire of success
will push one to
burn themselves out
leaving themselves completely drained
and in need of recovery
with no way to break the cycle
or get out

The desire of success
will either lead to great achievement
or to great depletion
with no way to tell which will happen
until one looks at the sacrifices they have made

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Date Written: 11 April 2026

Wash the flames with oxygen
Let it air dry out

Swallow the anger
Let the passion glossen your eyes

Absorb the white noise
Let it vibrate through your body and heart

Let the fear guide you
Let the anxiety focus you

Wash the flames with a lack of oxygen
Watch it fizzle and die out

Spit out the anger
Watch it harden the passion in your eyes

Bounce off the white noise
Deflect it all from your body and heart

Let the courage direct you
Let the calmness distract you

And always remember
No matter what you do to cleanse yourself of intense emotions
Make sure to let the cycle end and begin something anew

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Date Written: 06 April 2026

Pressure like an avalanche
I am crumbling underneath

Pelted down by rocks, mud, and sunken homes
As I stand on this mountain side with nothing to brace myself

I take each impact as it comes.

Life is full of overwhelm
And it’s easy to feel crushed by the weight of it all
Yet life still moves on, whether or not you can handle it at all

You can do your best to always prepare
To anticipate the unexpected and brace for the expected
But life does not care whether you do or don’t
Life will continue with or without you

So instead of always trying to be prepared
Instead of always expecting pressure to crack and avalanche down onto you

Maybe it’s time for you to get yourself off that side of that mountain
And maybe go and explore the ocean or the sky,
Because after we die, that’s it – that’s life.

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Date Written: 23 February 2012

Content Warning: This poem contains topics that may be sensitive to readers. Reader discretion is advised.

If I die, who lives?
If I cry, do you laugh?
When I am hurt, do you care?
You go on, I repeat.
What is love?
What is pain?
Are they not one and the same?
A penny saved is a penny earned.
A picture is worth a thousand words.
Am I worth a thousand words?
Am I a penny saved, or am I a penny earned?
You run, I walk.
You demand, I give.
You hate me
But I love you.
You are negative, I am positive.
You fear, I dream
Of horrors
Of horses,
Of family,
Of friends,
Of enemies,
Of pets,
Of plants,
Of parasites.
If I give, do you receive?
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Will you try and keep me away?
Am I accepted, or am I rejected?
Am I in love, or am I in pain?
I forgive, but you get revenge.
I draw, you paint.
I sing, you dance.
I hurt, you heal.
I scream, you yell.
You punch, I kick.
You speak, I listen.
You threaten, I obey.
You bully, but do I harass?
If I am gone, will you be crying over me?
If I am gone, will you see what I see?
If I am gone, would you miss me?
Would you find someone to replace me?
If I am gone, would you remember me?
Am I human, or am I puppet to you?
You look up, I look down.
You are happy, but I am depressed.
No prescription can change how I feel
About you and the world
Discriminating, fighting, stealing, and killing.
But is that all worth it?
Are you happy?
Are you proud?
Are you scared?
Are you down?
Are you a friend?
Are you an enemy?
Do you stand there and watch from a distance
While I hurt and bleed?
Am I dead or am I living to you?
Flowers can wilt, flowers can die.
But have you forgotten
That flowers can bloom
That flowers can blossom?
I am not an angel
And you are not some devil.
You are human.
I am human.
You and me
Are human,
Are living.
Yet you act like I am nothing.
Speak now or forever hold your peace
For I am who I am,
I am me.
So the next time you make a rude remark or point a finger, just remember
That when you point a finger at someone,
You will have three fingers pointing back at you.

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Date Written: 26 March 2026

Rejection is a normal part of life
yet why does it always crush me?

Disagreements are bound to happen
yet they always cause me great distress

We cannot live in a world where everyone is happy
nor can we grow and learn only from success
but here I find myself striving for this impossibility

My fears of rejection and failure haunt me
and when family, friends, and coworkers argue,
I find myself always tense

Failure is a normal part of life
yet I always am striving towards success

My ambition seems to drain me more rather than less
but I must digress, for my fears that haunt me
they also provoke me to do my very best

Rejection, failure, and loss may all be a normal part of life
but I cannot deny my drive for acceptance, accomplishment, and gain
so I will suffer through all this pain
alone as I bide my time
and continue to delude myself into
wanting an abnormal life only full of
acceptance, understanding, forgiveness,
and well, success.

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