Date Written: 05 August 2015
Struggling
To keep it together
Breathing in
Breathing out
To prevent from having another breakdown
It’s getting harder to breath
I just want to get down onto my knees
Can I do this anymore?
Socialization
Hate it
But love it at the same time
Why is it so hard for you understand
That I am fine alone
I enjoy my solitude
I hate socializing
I am no people person
Society’s ways are taking a toll
On me
Always restricting on “what is acceptable to those around you”
It’s never about yourself nowadays
Because that’s being selfish
It’s wrong to try and be the best version of myself
It’s wrong to want to move on from this life I’m living
I want to move away
Sever all contact
Only to come back and realize that I have lost it
I’m at a lost at what to do
Should I give up my feelings for the likes of you?
What should I do.
What should I say.
These are statements I chant in my head every day
I’m struggling
I’m on the teetering edge
Of self destruction
Self denial
And self repressed, discipline
I’m slowly fading away
Will you come and save me?
Or will you be too late?
Come and thank me
It’s been put off your shoulders
And onto mine
Killing me on the inside
I hope your happy
I hope your proud
Because those words have lost their meaning for me once more
I’m just the broken girl living on the hope of his return
To free my icey, stoney heart
From being shattered farther than it has before
I’m just the broken girl
Waiting to be accepted and no longer feel alone
As much as I hate it
As much as I want it
I have no need for it
I’ve always been on my own
It’s been like that from the very start
I was born to live my life alone
No, not a loner
No, not an idealistic dreamer
Yes, a fighter
Yes, a believer
To take the world onto my back
To have the weight of the world sitting onto my shoulders
Is it worth it?
Am I worth it if I turn out like you?
All are questions asked
When carrying
The weight of the world.